This isnt my day 2 blog .
I've had a few of you message asking questions about this place and costs so I thought I'd share the love. Its what I do....it's what makes me so loveable. ...so listen up fucknuts and try to take something useful from this and if you have any useful tips yourselves, then share in the commentary...
I'll post a blog update of yesterday's events shortly.
For anyone thinking of coming to Puerto Vallarta there are some things you may want to consider that will save you money and free up some of your luggage weight/travel allowance now that the airlines are charging more and giving you less.
First
Try to find a hotel that offers all inclusive.
Good luck. The only one we know of is San Marino that is downtown near all of the more popular beaches, clubs and bars. The rest are a bit out of the ways.
For this trip flight, hotel, drinks and all meals cost us 1262 each for 2 weeks! Look for one that also includes wifi and has a lock box.
We booked this trip in September so search early. Sunwing is always looking to fill their planes so it gets cheaper closer to the flight date but don't count on last minute deals. Book on an amount you feel comfortable with. We've lost out on some amazing deals because we kept holding off sk go with your gut. If it looks like a great price and you are comfortable with it lo then bookem Dano and then STOP looking.
We found this deal on iTravel2000. Don't bother with travel agents there are markups and fees. Oh boy If I have any travel agents on my Facebook I'm sure I'm gonna get an earful but who are they kidding.
Keep in mind that food is still relatively cheap here in Mexico so if cant find an all inclusive deal or if you don't like hotel food then there's still a ton of options including your standard McDs, Burger King, Subway and Starbucks if you get desperate. Mexicans are are so very generous when it comes to portion sizes as is evident by the size of many of them...ooh a slam.
Book a checkup with your Dr when you get home to unclog those arteries.
And don't expect 4 or 5 star resort at those prices. San Marino is 2.5 stars and we consider it a place to sleep and store our clothes while we're down here . The rest of the time we prefer to be outside.
Although that being said, they do have amenities here that some would like. Y'all can get your nails did, a real massage sans happy ending and arrange excursions.
The foods also pretty good and they switch it up a bit when not recycling.
Secon
If you wanna have access to data on your phones, don't bother with the Telus or the Rogers packages that they have in Canada. I'm not sure what the travel data packages are like in the U.S. I'd venture to guess they can be just as pricey.
Most of the data travel offers are nothing but a rip off back home.
For example when I first came here I paid 100.00 Canadian for 100mb of data. That was in 2011 and I burnt through that really fast...friggin grindr and scruff. I'm told it's not that different and still pricey now.
Best thing to do is buy your sim and data package here in Mexico from one of the actual Telcel or Movistar vendors. They are all over the place here.
We went to the big Telcel vendor in the "Galaria mall" where there's also a big Walmart, and picked up a sim card for 80 pesos and 1gb of data for only 300 pesos. All converts to just under $38 bucks Canadian. You really can't beat that.
After paying it was really simple. I took the sim and inserted it into the phone and voilà I HAVE DATA!!!. You even get phone minutes with it but I forget how much.
The best thing about this place, if you want to stay connected, is that there is wifi all over Puerto Vallarta so you should be more than fine juggling between your paid 1gb of data and the free wifi.
If for some reason you run out of data then you can easily load up at one of the millions of oxxos all around. Think 7/11.
Not sure how to get to Walmart just cab it. It's cheap. 10 bucks (100 pessos) from San Marino if they try to charge more than 200 pesos you're being ripped off. Bargain or walk away there's a cab every 5 feet. It's just like New York and the cabs smell just as bad.
Third
Forget lugging down a bag full of toiletries there's no need. The same mall that sells the sim also has a massive Walmart and if not Walmart then there's a bunch of other malls or stores where you can pick up items that collectively will weigh down your luggage. It's cheap down here.
For example Crest complete toothpaste with Colgate a three pack in Mexico cost us 38 pesos that's less than 3.70 Canadian or 1.20 each tube approx. versus 2.00 or more in Canada per tube.
Just an example. The point is to save yourself some luggage space and weight.
Between soap, deodorant, shampoo, sunscreen, toothpaste, gels, polident yes I said polident, contact solution etc you could be saving yourself 3lbs in luggage weight or more depending on how many of you are traveling so save the weight and dollars back home it's too conveniently and cheaply available here.
Now I know a bunch of you are prissy ass queens who need to have your special VidalRevlonPantenePro-V-i-cant-believe-you-actually-fall-for-any-of-that-shit shampoo then get over yourselves. It's all really over-priced crap and your hair won't get any cleaner than with standard soap and water no matter how much you try convince yourselves.
Besides it's so humid down here and with the pollution there's no point in trudging down jugs of your pretentious hair care products. ..save the room in your bags and you'll be able to bring home some lovely shawl or evening clutch purses that they make out of recycled Doritos bags to match your coifs (which is short for coiffure) which means hairstyle for any of my Alabama followers.
You might also want to consider using the local laundry services in the area .
We had several pieces of laundry approximately 15+ items laundered and folded for only 100 pesos that's under 10.00 Canadian. Of course you tip a bit more but this will also help in limiting the amount of clothes you need to bring.
Either that or you can pick up laundry detergent at Walmart and a small bucket and wash it yourself as you need it. We did this once and it worked out fine.
Drinks and food is cheap here too so even if you don't get an all inclusive package with your hotel there are plenty of competing bars and restaurants plus liquor is in all the oxxos so get yourself pre-hammered, if so inclined, before heading out.
It is very gay friendly down here too. Although I'd excersize the same decorum you would back home meaning no deep throating at the local oxxo or have any "penises" or is that peni for multiple....hmmm anyway dont have them hanging out when heading out for pizza. These guys know who their clientele are and they cater to us. It feels awesome.
Knock on wood we have never had an issue...
As for drugs, while it's not my scene, and yes I'm judging you...I'm on vacation fuck off , there seems to be much of whatever you want down here.
Word of caution, I've heard stories that the cops and the dealers are in league with each other so my best advice I can give is to learn to say "No Gracias" with a smile and have a nice day and keep walking and don't look back. You just never know what's in the drug or anything about who's selling it. Don't go looking for a Mexican shakedown.
Fourth
Sex Whether you're straight or gay if you are looking to get laid then it will happen.
Even if you are ugly as sin. Keep in mind the hotels frown upon bringing "guests" into the room.
When I used to do that I had to get creative. It's been a while since I found my hunny bunny. It helps if you have grindr scruff tinder bender or whatever else is out there profile .
And please save me the lecture. And dont get all holier than thou. There isn't a fag worth his weight in gold who hasn't tried online hookups in one form or another so please bitches.....
Keep in mind that a nice headboard to stare at helps if the guy looks anything like Gerrard Depardieu.
There is a lot of gay for pay here as well. Rent boys are a dime a peso and they know their audience. Do not be a fool and come here expecting to find "true love". That only happens in Shrek cartoons.
If you're in your 40s and over and plump like many of us are and some 20 something hottie is draped all over you like a cheap suit then chances are he's looking to score more with your wallet or purse than with you. Get what you can out of it if but don't expect to come home having found Mr Right. Seriously get a grip. At least you got laid.
And not to be preachier than I already have been but consider using condoms. Get this... guys lie when they are on vacation. So if he says he's clean he probably means he had a shower before he slithered over.
And if you are worried about your inability to "rise to the occasion" then I have great news for you. MAXIFORT. Generic Viagra is available in every farmacia and you DONT need a prescription.
And the shits super cheap compared to back home. I've found them as low apps 48us for 10 100mg pills to 60 US. And they work just fine... remember NO POPPERS when using them. You'll get a stroke.
So this about all i can think of for what to expect when you visit PV. There's tons to do down here like excursions, bars restaurants or nothing at all and just sit by the beach and veg.
I've never been here alone but have met people who have come alone and are fine on their own.
It really is a fun place to come to with a small group or your bestie as there are varied tastes in entertainment and just overall things to do.
And when you do visit take a minute and go to the SWEDES. It's an awesome restaurant with great food and the owner " Morgan Granander " is a cutie meaning hot...yes I went there.
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