OK fucknuts eees day Tres
Puerto Vallarta Mexico Day 3 Nov 5
There's tiny ants all over the sink in the bathroom. Bugs creep me out. At first they looked like baby kook-a-rachas but once I put my contacts in, I saw that they were ants.
Don't know where they are coming from but they are on the beach as well. More irritating than anything. We'll keep the lights on in the bathroom just in case there is kook-a-rachas. As I recall, light makes them scatter and keep away.
The hotel is still filled with locals who are leftover from November 1st holiday.
Who allowed these people to go on vacation? Somewhere there are kitchen sinks overrun with pots and overgrown gardens.
What about my needs who's gonna cater to me?
They get all upset and indignant when you ask them anything like "bring me a towel" " my cup is empty fillerup" "rub my feet" "dance" "does this smell funny to you" "get me the Manageria".
It's not my fault i can't tell the local "visitantes" from the hotel staff. No need to get all nasty and pull out shivs.... Heyzeus Cristo! !!
What this country needs is a good Karen Walker for president. She'd keep all these Rosarios in check.
The amount of niños having niños amazes me here. Some of these guys are barely in their 20s and already have 3 or 4 niños.
They used to split the hotel pools between adults and families meaning the big pool was for families including teens. There's a small kiddie pool beside it and the third pool was for adults only. We assume locals can't read the sign or chose to ignore it because sure enough the adults only one is packed with niños.
The other thing the locals do is laundry in the pools.
Every morning they put on every stitch of clothing they have, they jump in, and the Abuela (grandmother) tosses in laundry detergent and then uses a big wooden spoon to swirl them all around.
It's very disturbing.
Actually we don't get it but why DO all the adults swim in their clothing? I'm talking full on shorts underwear and shirts/tops, bras. It's unreal. Maybe a body image thing but wtf do they think their clothes cling to when they get out of the water?
I noticed yesterday that one of the niños had shat poolside. The crap has sat there all day melted and spread out...it's gross. And right beside the dining room.
Sometimes we don't even bother with breakfast. The dining room is so crowded with families who take over the buffet and fill their tables with plates of food.
This morning we went to Dee's again and noticed the same guy there that's been hanging around for two days. We believe he is a rent boy. Very handsome and fit. All he seems to do is hang out playing video lottery terminals and exersize on the beach. We did notice that he's had the same red shorts on for the last three days and no shoes. He shall hence forth be known as Red Shorts Guy.
I managed to capture video and pics of him on the beach doing pull ups. (See pics)
We also saw Captain Highliner. I swear he looks just like the guy on the package. I don't understand how he can walk around all dressed in shirt, pants, hat full white beard and not sweat profusely. Also reminds me of the guy from Jurassic Park one of Attenboroughs.
After Dee's we went to sit at the lower level San Marino deck where they have palapas and beach sand. That's where I perfected my "how many tequilas hot is this guy" game.
I'm really gonna have to get hammered. To be honest I have my hunny bunny who is already a bottle of water hot meaning I don't need to drink to have him make me melt.... He gives me the oooey gooeys inside instead of the heebie geebies. ....Ricky happy :)
We sat there a while then went off to Ritmos.
On the way there we were reminded why it's important to wear a good pair of shoes in Puerto Vallarta. The streets are a mish mash of cobblestones and rocks. There's no need for speed bumps here although they do have those.
We saw two old favorites on the beach. Senior Cubbins the man with 1000 hats and Herminey (How many how many)an older beach vendor that has upgraded her skills to massages. We both agree she's looking much better and younger and may have lost some weight since we last saw her....good for you fat Mexican unemployable senior with no language skills to speak of good for you!!! Pics posted.
Holy fuck they were having a Golden Gurls convention on the beach. I was expecting hot furry guys and ended up with geriatric andropausal men with hot flashes.
We gotta do a better job of nailing down our vacation time times.
I got a wee bit hammered as I recall posting some pics and for some reason I swear I saw a Latino elf/oompa loompa on the beach or maybe it was the daiquiris clouding my vision. Freaky none the less.
I played my new "how many tequilas hot" game and discovered that my Facebook following are as shallow and catty as I am. Bitches. I love u guys....and a few gals too.
We stayed till about 3 then had a really late lunch.
We're trying something new. Breakfast, late lunch, nap then out for drinks. We find when we have all three meals, primarily dinner, that we get very bloated and tired and end up crashing all night.
Late lunch was at the San Marino then a nap till 9pm.
After that things were pretty much a blur.
I remember going to the Swedes and seeing Morgan and we had a couple of cosmos each. Then back to the hotel to change. The weather is so hot and humid we sweats buckets. I'm already naturally hot do i really need to be even hotter?
Then we saw David Villasenor on our way to Margaritas. He's working late at Anonimos. We'll have to make a point of dropping by there when he's working.
Margaritas was busy. It's this tiny bar beside La Noche and oddly used to be part of La Noche until they put up a wall between the two clubs.
Rojilio was there all topless and dripping machismo the fucker. Tad we touched him twice for you. ...we mentioned you but he still says "tad who?" I'm sorry princess. Oh well more for me.
There was this one uber hot guy there, besides my hunny bunny , who was sporting muscles and tattoos and the perfect beard and had the gays draped all over him. These girls came in and holy fuck did they ever scream. ..wow. .. who the fuck let straight white girls into this city. Clearly fag hags.
We assume they knew him.
We had our two Gin and Tonics then headed off next door to La Noche. It wasn't too busy. There was some eye candy but it was early yet. 11 pm I think ....The place starts humming around midnight...
We left after one drink in search of "dirty tacos" but Tia's, our favorite taco vendor wasn't there. She's this sweet matronly thing that reminds you of your European mom or Abuela (grandmother) who makes cheap fast tasty tacos. But alas.
We settled for jalapeño chips and then drifted off to sleep in our ant infested room.
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